Reflection
Last Monday I was on the phone for two hours with my aunt in the Lowlands, she is my friend, my 'mother', my mirror. We always seem to have deep conversations about life and lessons to learn. That day I tried to explain to her what was going on here in London and while I was telling her about goals, dreams and realities she suddenly made me realise how much I've achieved over the last year. How I was thrown in at the deep end, how I nearly drowned struggling and how I slowly start to get back on my feet... I had to let go of a million things: personal things, most of my possessions and friendships, only to make room for new ones.
People tend to forget about you when you've left the country. Emails come in sparsely over time or even the odd reply seems to take much longer than usual. At first, friends, were a major reason for me to move back to the Lowlands if I feel I had no other option left. These days I realise it has become less important. It seems to be shifting: I couldn't do without the friendships I have in London nor the ones online. I still value some in the Lowlands but I realise most don't have a clue of what is going on here and it seems the interest isn't there either. It's life, people have their own path to follow and they're slowly untying the relationship.
I understand because I'm in my own process of untying/tying and although I have accomplished a lot it's odd how I still need others to remind me that I have. My aunt is a reminder, my Kekasih and so are some of my [blog] friends. I've learned about different realities over the past year, my own and those of others but I've learned to respect one in particular. His taught me patience and gave me freedom to roam my creative realms, his made me grow and fed my hunger for knowledge. His showed me what contemplation looks like in all it's different shades of beautiful blue. His taught me how to ignore poisonous words of others.
His gave me comfort, support and the most beautiful gift, a new reality: ours... I have been quiet for days because I couldn't find words to describe this feeling, I'm not even sure if I want to. Sometimes things are beyond words and don't need to be written down to become real, I know what's real and what isn't. Sometimes reality stares you in the face and you suddenly become aware of it's wonderful colours. It doesn't blind you that particular moment because you choose and wish to see the beauty in it's perfect reflection. It's when you find yourself speechless, in stunned silence and almost in tears but with a huge smile on your face.
So it's best to just be quiet and contemplate and since I love the wonderful smell of fresh baked bread in the house, I decided to bake a nice garlic and rosemary focaccia for lunch today with a plum tomato and feta omelette. Cooking is a way to relax to me and find my balance. I'm practising to get the perfect result so I can give in return to Kekasih one day what he gave to me earlier this week, I think I came pretty close to 'perfect' ;)
Oh my!!
I scrolled down and took one look at the pics and had to save the text for later.
Does your creativity ever end?? :-)
After essentially having mine so focused in one area for many years, I am once again totally amazed at how yours shows no bounds!!!
mmm. . . just the images alone. . . well what can I say? Just beautiful!
I don't need to smell or taste, I just know it would be yummie.
The person who invents some cyber senses will be rich indeed, yet somehow even my place smells so good now.
OK, I can't look anymore ;-)
Thanks for sharing, but let me add this:
not only is your head out of the water, but you've definitely climbed up out of the pool. And even if you were to go back for a dip, you're a real swimmer now. :-)
Oh you did it again... got me all blushing *hehe* I didn't realise this is seen as creativity but I guess it is in a way, I like your perspective :) and *thank you!* I'm sure you could do something similar, how about that monkey bread you showed me the recipe of some time ago? Let's save that for a Sunday morning in the near future shall we? :)
Monkey bread and a fresh mug of coffee... I can picture those three... ;)
I'm might be a swimmer now but that's only because of the support and comfort I so generously receive... I'm more than grateful for that :-* and I guess that's exactly why my bread turned out so lovely... It will only get closer to perfect over time :)
I shouldn't have come back, one look at the pics and then your words and suddenly I'm starving :-)
I'm not sure whether to smile or be sad... :-O
Hi Tess long time no "visit". So many has happened so many yet to happen. I like the closeups over all but the words have a special effect. I can almost imagine a moment through the words alone.
Hi my dear viendrin (amiga) :)
How are you? It is Friday again and I can breath a bit and of course catch up with your wonderful posts. I loved the picture of your baked bread. Can I have a piece? :) The text is absolutely wonderful. I think I understand a lot what you mean when you mention the bit of friends having their own path to follow and how the relationship fades somehow.
In my case, at first it was very difficult to really see that but now I am understand it better. New friends, new relationships, new experiences. What I find more amazing (and wonderful at the same time) is that most of my emotional support comes from my blog buddies and blogger friends! as you well said, I couldn't do without them either. They are already a very special part of my life :)
Needless to say you are one of them :)
Have a lovely weekend,
Reuben: hi Reuben, good to see you again, how are you? Thank you for the compliment, it's flattering to know my words could have such an effect :)
I miss your beautiful pictures and really hope you're not giving up on your blog. That would be a true shame... :(
Wen: hi amiga, how is life? I'll bake you a focaccia one day when I come to visit and we can share with your friends :) You're so right about friends, I too, feel that blog friends somehow are much closer to me than those I left behind in the 'home' country. Perhaps it's time to let go and move on, don't you think? And thank you! *blush* You have a special place too! :)
"I'll bake you a focaccia one day when I come to visit" That would be fantastic!!!! :)
It's a deal Wen ;)
Now I know why the orange moon was there for me :-)
Like the purrapple ;-)
Jim: you noticed... that's all that matters! That made it a very special moon don't you think? Unfortunately I couldn't see it but your memory is plenty and is rewarded with a smile :)