A Thought [or Three]...
I've noticed something a while ago and have been thinking whether I should write a post about this or not but it has been on my mind for some time and I would like to hear other people's opinion as well. I have discussed it with fellow bloggers [who will remain anonymous] at some point when we met up. I asked them if it was just me but they confirmed my feelings by telling me that they experienced something similar, so I decided to indeed write down my thoughts since after all, this is my blog and I can write whatever I feel like...
Which is exactly what my first thought is about... I'm not going to pretend to be happy when I'm not. I'm not pretending I never had or have 'heated' discussions because after all I'm a passionate person. I'm not going to pretend to be all positive while I might be feeling slightly negative on a particular day when I happen to write a post. Basically what you see -in this case 'read'- is what you get. That might be a typical Dutch trait but at least it's one I'm proud of since what you get is honesty as opposed to some -in my opinion- unreal blogs that are out there trying to make things look much nicer than they [probably] are in reality.
Which takes me to my next thought. I've noticed some kind of in-crowd in the blogosphere... People who collect your link from a popular blog: add a link on theirs to yours and expect to be linked back to them without ever notifying you, visiting your blog, let alone leave a comment or say at least 'hi'. True copycats: they hope to get traffic in that way. I check my statistics and I know who visits this blog on a regular basis. I don't mind quiet readers and I don't mind when my blog is linked to others. But like in real life it would be nice to at least introduce yourself and say something... but you see, somehow I can even understand that, after all there are shy people in this world as well, so I accept it.
On to my final thought: what I fail to understand is that typical thirteen-year-old kind of playground behaviour where one person [or in this case, 'the in-crowd'] is so desperately trying to be the most popular of all: collecting links to blogs just to lift on the other's blog popularity and to get the odd extra comment in. Or they seem to be thriving on the attention they get from visitors who regard them as some divine being. And then true nature shows when they seem to be stepped on their cute little sensitive toes [yes somehow divine beings seem to have extremely sensitive toes!] when the 'favour' has not been returned, followed by instant removal of their link to yours. It's such childish behaviour that it amuses me to a certain level.
I would like to emphasise that I started writing this blog for myself and myself only, then when I moved from the Lowlands to London it started to shift from personal diary to a way to keep my friends and family updated about my expat life over here, a place to record my thoughts and feelings. Then after some time it started to slightly shift again since I started to meet fellow bloggers online and I would leave comments on their blog to get to know them or show my interest in what they had to tell or show. Which often resulted into exchanging links based on mutual appreciation and/or interest. I appreciate real people, those who are not afraid of having an opinion. Those who are not hiding behind masks or pretend to be someone they're not, people I can relate to.
But you see, this blog is still here for the same purpose after years of writing, which is for me and yes I do feel flattered if people read it and show me they're interested in what I have to say and leave me a nice comment [or not]. I'm grateful for those who became online friends but like in real life, it takes an effort to become one. And I really don't feel the need to 'collect' or 'be collected' by those who are out there just to win lost souls. I don't need a 'crowd of followers' to know that I can be someone, I already am someone, I am defined by me... So the last thing I need is being part of an immature kind of cult that seems to be going on in some parts of this blogosphere. I never wanted to be involved with that playground behaviour when I was twelve or thirteen and I still don't want to these days, unlike some, I did grow up.
Keep on writing and ignore those collectors.
You are you and need not play their silly popularity games.
You are plenty popular to those of us that are interested and care. :-*
I seem to be some kind of threat to the collectors ;)
Guess it's jealousy, wouldn't be the first time, so yes I ignore but it's amusing at the same time. All it shows me is that they don't know me at all and I don't have time for games, not in this life ;)
Thank you for leaving me a gift like this! That's sweet! :)
Wonderful post! I read it twice it is so interesting and true and honest and excellent! I have also noticed that of the links exchange and stuff. In my blogroll I only have those blogs I truly enjoy reading :)
I especially liked this phrase: "I don't need a 'crowd of followers' to know that I can be someone, I already am someone, I am defined by me"
Have a great day!
Hi Wen, thank you, you're sweet! :) and one of the 'real' people ;)
I always enjoy reading your blog, lovely pictures by the way [Rome]: I forgot to tell you.
I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one noticing such behaviour, it's kind of sad in a way isn't it? Well at least we know that those blogs that we read/visit are worth the time and effort ;)
Hi Tess, heard about you from Farfallina. She told me you were virtually a life saver (or blog saver for all intesive purposes) for helping her out. So I figured I'd check out what you had to say and haha, the first post I read has me smiling to myself considering my position. Regardless, keep writing and I'll keep reading.
Hi Chris, welcome and thank you for leaving such a nice comment! :)
I guess I was just there at the right moment...
A bit of coding, technical know-how and a troubleshooter attitude did most of the job. I know what it is like when you get that panicky feeling ;) And I'm happy that I could help her out.
Your position? Well it can't be bad since you left a comment, said hi, introduced yourself and even gave me a compliment... you ticked all the boxes *hehe*
Hello dear Tess:
I haven't had that issue. My blog is read regularly by some fun/beautiful/compassionate/funny as all get out folks. Yourself included! But I don't have the link, link back... thingy.
Maybe that's cause I'm not so sure how to do it myself....
To me, for my readers to venture to other that read my blog... all they truly need to do is click through the comments...
This is your blog dear, use it as you wish... you are perfect. :)
Mon
Hi Monica! I'm happy to hear you don't have the problem :)
Some blogs that I've exchanged links with, have become 'popular' in the meantime and I noticed that others copied a complete blogroll [thus including link to mine] from the popular one, without even ever visiting any of those links just to get traffic in and become popular themselves: totally self-absorbed... I guess that's what is bothering me, it's an attitude issue ;)
But the positive side is that I so appreciate you and my other readers!!! :)
Thank you for letting me be 'me' ;)
Hi Tess
You gave me a guilty consience (did I spell that right???) about not introducing myself while reading your blog, so now I do. You write about interesting things, and I like reading it. Being a gadget girl myself, I really liked your coffee heating USB hub. I Want One Of Those!!! One more thing, as long as YOU like what YOU write, then it's fine. Got to go back to work now. Bye.
Hi Veronica, welcome :)
And thank you for being brave ;) I didn't mean to make you feel guilty though because I don't mind quiet readers at all! You liked the coffee hub? *LOL* Each gadget girl should have one ;) I'm sure they will be sold somewhere online, I will look for you and let you know.
And thank you for your kind words, you made my day :)
Don't work too hard ;)
Veronica, I promised to get back to you about the hub, if you google for 'USB Cup Warmer' you'll find plenty of online gadget shops where you can find it. I hope you'll be able to find one in your country. As this is a gift I didn't visited those websites [but I know the mug/usb hub is there!] because it would be a bit inappropriate to do so ;)
Don't stay too long... those websites can be as addictive as coffee *hehe*
ps. I noticed you've registered and I approved which means your comments will be published without me having to approve them, just so you know ;) and thank you for reading my blog, I appreciate it :)