Compassion
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Making things clear
Valid during several weeks: During this time you may be inclined to keep your opinions to yourself and not communicate them to others, even when you should. At the same time you may be more in touch with the hidden sides of your own personality, your unconscious drives and compulsions than at most other times.
The first of these two effects may be undesirable or inappropriate, but the ability to get at hidden areas of your character can be quite useful. The problem here is that you may feel that others will hold anything you say against you. And this may be true, especially if your words are motivated by petty ego concerns. But it is even more likely that what you don't say will be held against you, so it is very important at this time to say everything that has to be said.
The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today: Mercury in the 12th House 12, activity period from 28 December 2007 until end of February 2008.
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I don't know what's wrong today, well yes I do know, I just ain't gonna write down the details. But since it seems to be important today to make things clear I'd better give it a try. I'll write down feelings and thoughts instead and perhaps I can come up with some answers. I feel like I lost something that was very important to me, I feel like someone punched me in my stomach, I feel powerless, I feel like I tried everything that I possibly could to help from where I am and yet I'm left with this hurt inside, feeling gutted and having lots of questions in my head.
And because of this I had a freaking headache and weird dreams all night, vivid ones, scary ones. I was trying to survive hanging from one of these propeller driven airplanes and at some point lying on one of the wings trying to hold on to anything I could grab while the plane was looping. All I could see was the pilot's face and the horizon changing angle all the time. Seconds [or minutes or hours?] later I was trying to save a boat from sinking while a serious gale was going on. I was running around getting people off the boat and saving this little girl's life. I can't remember how it all ended, I guess for a reason...
At times I wish one could dose the amount of empathy one could have for a person but I guess it only becomes more and more intense if that particular person means a lot to you. I don't think you could ever measure empathy, I know for sure *I* can't. Perhaps I should try to change empathy into sympathy to make my own hurt go away? A while ago my dear friend and Lama told me I should hang on to one of the gifts I was given since birth because it was precious, to me and to others as well: my compassion for my own vulnerability. She told me not to let my wall take over, but try to be me and able to experience pain with someone...
She taught me a valid lesson one of many actually: someone else doesn't need to change to make us happy, it's all about their imperfect relationship with the nature of reality. It is either 'compassion' or 'frustration', starting with understanding your own hidden pains instead of blaming others. So I'm left wondering whether I feel frustrated or whether it is compassion. Oh I understand my own hidden pains all too well and I must admit it's probably a combination of both and like most things in life the balance of it seems to change every minute, but right now I have been on the compassionate side for quite some time.
And I feel that no matter how much it hurts, this isn't really about me when I let compassion speak. So perhaps I should just experience the pain for now, just sit in pain for a while, mine and the other person's pain without moving to hide it, fade it or fix it, until I find that balance again. I'm gonna be silent for a while, so that when I'm needed I can be there in a genuine way instead of a selfish one, or when I'm no longer needed I could let go and move on. Either way, I will gain: when you have the opportunity to pluck and savor the fruits of life that come with a bit of sacrifice then I assure you, they taste sweeter than the sweetest Rambutan!
I have a few more hours to go before it's midnight but I'll probably be asleep, so I wish you all a grand New Year and I hope 2008 will bring everything you wish for!
Sometimes redwoods become too deep rooted in an attempt for self-preservation. They don't want to become a wall so they dig their roots in deep; and hope their thick skin (bark) might protect them, building their own wall it seems.
During this cold time their roots become less active bringing less nutrients to its head and limbs, making them a bit sluggish and vulnerable. They can become fragile if the past year was bad and they weren't able to store enough of the sun and the earth's gifts to make it through the cold, dark months.
But there might be hope, many have made it to live hundreds of years with a little help now and again.
Might the spring rains be plentiful so his roots don't need to dig so deep.
But I'm sure like with all trees the Redwood will grow bigger and stronger over time and in spring it will grow new leaves and new branches. Tiny ones, fragile ones but they will grow and nothing can stop that. If they get enough light they as well will become stronger and bigger. It takes time and patience... but the process is still going on even when it seems to slow down this time of the year.