Spence

There's a tiny spider in our office space/computer room at home. I hate spiders, they freak me out somehow but only specific ones. The ones who have that typical predator behaviour [called house spiders see pictures below]. Front legs sticking out of a hole in the wall while they wait for heavy vibrations; a signal to attack whatever it is that's been caught in their net of death.

I noticed the spider today and told A. that I would like to get rid of it. Meaning I would take the vacuum cleaner out of the cupboard and suck the little thing into the endless black pipe. Where it would finally land on a pillow of dust, dying a slow death by choking on dust clouds. If it's lucky it will survive and find a way out back into the black tunnel.

I would care if it would survive therefore I wouldn't want to know whether it did or not, if it will escape and I'll find it again I will definitely give it the same treatment and perhaps spray some poison in the pipe to make sure it won't survive this time. Don't tell me I'm cruel, this creature had a choice to begin with, it shouldn't live in my house nor in my office space, basically nowhere in my house. It should stay where it belongs; out in nature.

If it does survive the first time in dust hell then it shouldn't stay anywhere in my house, it should also try to get out of my apartment straight away! No mercy on these creatures if they still are ignorant and not obeying the rules and regulations of my Kingdom. Like in the old days, it would be tortured to punish the offender by quartering [for those of you youngsters who don't know what that is: here's a link] in this case it would be 'eighthering' though.

Anyway, A. convinced me to keep the spider alive instead of killing it. The reason for this would be its skills to catch flying objects better known as mozzies. Since they seem to invade the house by millions from time to time I thought it would be useful to give it a try. Then I asked A. what the spider was called and he said: "Spence, Spence the Spider". So Spence the Spider is on a trial period for a couple of days and so far he didn't do much.

He made his deadly net and he has been sitting there for hours already without catching any mozzie. He's been useless because the office space is still a loud buzzing place especially in the evening/night. If he won't improve his behaviour and get the job done then he might be in for a little surprise some day soon...