One of Those Days...

I'm feeling sad. Today when I got home I found the youngest bird in the cage: dead... I think it's number five or six that died over the last 3 years. I don't know what happened. Maybe it got stuck with the head and panicked. It looks like it has a broken neck. I know I'm not to blame and I know it is not my fault but still... I feel responsible.

The other one isn't happy either and keeps calling his friend. It's sad to hear. He looks stressed and he will probably won't sleep much tonight. It's his second mate that he lost. I really don't know what to do, whether I should buy another one or not whether I should give this bird to someone who has more luck with them or not. It's a dilemma because I want what is best for Fatty and he doesn't look happy at the moment.

We've watched another DVD tonight, I fell asleep though after an hour or so not because it was boring but because I'm so tired. It was a good movie, typical American but good. It's called The Manchurian Candidate with Denzel Washington and Meryl Streep. I'm tired and out of energy because I f#*@&#*cked up my back again yesterday. A. put his arms around my arms, held me tight and lifted me up when we were just faffing around in the kitchen. It was the wrong way but he couldn't know and I didn't realise that my back was still that bad after what happened in January. I thought I was completely recovered. Guess not...

I was in agony all of a sudden and screaming with pain. I told A. to slowly put me down but I could feel that these vertebrae were in the wrong position probably by lifting me that particular way. This morning everything felt as bad as half a year ago and I could barely move my back and right arm. I found out tonight that I have another appointment with the osteopath tomorrow. I thought it wasn't until next week. It's good though because I will ask her to treat my back again. I'm off to bed soon with some serious painkillers... [no morphine though this time, otherwise I will get weird dreams again...]

I will bury my bird tomorrow morning, first thing... for now, I am going to bed trying to get some sleep and see if I can get my mind to rest as well... Good night!